Screwed.edu
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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