How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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