how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
