Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
