i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
