That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
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