I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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