I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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