I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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