I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Randomize