I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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