i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Randomize
