Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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