I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
