i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
We don't watch enough power rangers
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
