I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
