ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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