you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
