I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
