Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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