I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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