is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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