.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
