I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Randomize
