But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
