remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize