Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
