I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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