That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
