Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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