It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
the liver wants what the liver wants
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
