I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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