You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
