even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
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I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
You left your phone here
Wait...
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