don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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