I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
