It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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