Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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