he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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