i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
