bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
