don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize