Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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