I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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