To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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