Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
