everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Quick, to the slutcave!
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
