Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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