My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
