C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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