My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
We have started to decorate penises.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
