I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
