She announced her abortion via fbk
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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