dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
