it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
