Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
