I wanna passion pit in your ass
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
